


Remind me

by ylc



Series: Random songs inspired AUs [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Angst, Happy ending though, M/M, Romance, Self Confidence Issues, So much angst, domestic (but not the happy kind), everyone is human
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 15:06:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3814939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ylc/pseuds/ylc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and Dean lived in a state of ethernal domestic bliss.</p>
<p>But really, domesticity is overrated.</p>
<p>Title and inspiration comes from Brad Paisley's and Carrie Underwood's song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remind me

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was in the mood for some angst. And this idea just wouldn’t leave me alone, so…  
> Anyway, I’ve read a lot of fics dealing with ‘domesticity’. Maybe I’m a bit of a cynic, but everytime I read one of those I can’t help thinking that those people have never been married. Or lived with someone. Because yeah, there are some real sweet moments and it’s nice being with someone and having a sense of belonging, but sometimes is just so… complicated. And there’s much arguing and fighting, and sometimes it’s just pretty boring.   
> And since, as I previously stated, I was in the mood for some angst, this happened.  
> Anyway, enjoy?

It takes five years, fill with a lot of misunderstandings, fights, jealousy fits and self-worth issues but finally Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester  get it together and become a couple, to the endless amusement of their brothers, who are the whole reason they met in the first place (but that’s another story for another time)

The point is, when they finally get together, there’s fire between them. They both are incredibly passionate and it shows in every single one of their interactions. Gabriel teases them endlessly about their PDA, but they don’t particularly care. They get thrown out of places more than once for making out a little too enthusiastically and they get chastised by more than a couple of parents for being indecent in front of children, but they never quite get embarrassed enough to stop.

They move in together after a year of steady dating, living in a seemly permanent state of newlyweds bliss. Everything is perfect and they’re beyond happy.

Until they aren’t.

* * *

 

It begins with little things. Small fights over mundane things like who finished the cereal and didn’t buy more or who’s turn is it to wash the dishes. They make up easily and everything is well soon enough.

But that’s not all. Against the popular belief, there’s nothing romantic or sweet about daily routines and domesticity quickly becomes something boring. It’s not enough to drift them apart, but it’s enough to create a rift between them. Still, it goes unnoticed.

Castiel starts working late and comes back home tired and cranky. Since Dean arrives earlier, he takes over some of the housework, which also makes him feel tired and cranky. They start talking less, instead settling in front of the TV to ‘relax’. Their sex life starts to suffer too, because they’re constantly tired.

Small things that add up without them really paying attention. They greet each other, kiss good morning, goodbye and goodnight and that seems to be enough.

It isn’t.

But they don’t notice.

* * *

 

It’s on cold autumn night while Dean is washing the dishes when the revelation happens. He had lunch with Sam and they had some laughs remembering when they were thrown out of that same restaurant because he and Castiel were sucking faces instead of actually eating and then Sam and Gabriel tried to outdo them. At the time, it was quite embarrassing but years later it’s quite an amusing anecdote.

But that gets him thinking. When was the last time he and Castiel had a long make out session? He can’t remember. He’s not even thinking about when they’re out, he can’t remember a time they kissed long and deep in the commodity of their own home.

It’s a little unsettling.

They have sex every blue moon, but there’s no real preamble to it. Now that he thinks about it, he’s started to approach sex like another chore: when it’s been too long, he drags Cas into the bedroom, but there’s no real want in it. Thinking about it, Cas never makes the first move.

It’s odd. It’s even odder he didn’t notice before. But it can’t be a bad thing, right? They’re older now; their sex drives are not the same than when they first got together. Besides, if either was bothered by the lack of sex, they would have say something before, right?

So there’s nothing wrong. Of course there’s nothing wrong. They’ve just- they’ve settled down. This is how it’s supposed to be, right? There’s nothing to worry about.

And if that night Dean jumps Cas’ bones the minute the other male walks through the door, well, it has nothing to do with him worrying.

Not at all.

* * *

 

Dean starts noticing other things. Like how they don’t really talk anymore. How they don’t even hold hands when they walk down the street. How Cas eyes occasionally slide away when a particularly handsome man walks by.

And it’s not like that has never happened before. Heck, it’s not like either of them are blind! So yes, they both occasionally checked other people out, but it had never before bothered him. It never worried him. Now though…

This things get him moody and he snaps at Cas at random times. He tries not to, he tries very hard to be as warm and loving as he used to be before they moved in together but something- something doesn’t quite fit anymore.

And it troubles him greatly.

* * *

 

The last drop is when they have lunch with their brothers. Sam just got a promotion on the company he and Cas work in and so Dean and Gabriel go to join them in a restaurant close to the office.

He has never understand how his brother’s relationship with Gabriel works because they’re basically polar opposites, but they seem happy, so Dean doesn’t question.

He and Gabriel arrive early and end up talking about the old times, when they were much younger. It dampers Dean’s mood a little, but he tries not to show it. He’s here for his brother and his own troubles with Cas will have to wait.

When their brothers arrive, Gabriel immediately pulls Sam into a passionate kiss. Castiel just smiles at Dean and slides next to him on the booth. This, of course, makes Dean’s mood even sourer.

Lunch is pleasant, though. Sam tells him about his new job and his terribly awful boss. Castiel laughs at this, “Crowley can be quite- handful.”

Sam scoffs. “He’s hellish.” The youngest male argues. “He has well earned his nickname of ‘King of Hell’.”

Once upon a time, Castiel used to complain about Crowley and how he always made him work late. Nowadays, Dean hasn’t hear a single complain. “Is Crowley still your boss?” he asks his boyfriend and Castiel nods.

“Yes. Now Sam and I are in the same team.”

Dean nods, thoughtful. Castiel still comes home late, but he doesn’t complain about his boss anymore. Has he gotten used to him or is there something else there?

Why does every small thing makes him question his relationship nowadays?

For the rest of lunch, Dean is quiet; too lost in his own thoughts to pay attention to what’s going on around the table. He’s troubled, but he keeps trying to convince himself there’s nothing to worry about.

“I’ll see you later” Castiel tells him before leaving, pressing a quick kiss on his cheek. Gabriel and Sam are sucking faces once again and Dean feels sick in his stomach.

When did this happen?

“Are you ok, Dean-o?” Gabriel questions, once their younger brothers have left. “You look… worried.”

Dean doesn’t reply. He’s not sure what he can say.

* * *

 

Cas comes back late again. He smells like cigarette and that troubles Dean further, for his boyfriend doesn’t smoke. He holds back his tears and ignores the constricting feeling in his chest, choosing to go to bed early. Cas doesn’t even ask.

When Cas finally goes to bed and lies next to him, Dean rolls over, pinning his boyfriend beneath him and proceeds to kiss him thoroughly. Castiel seems surprised, but doesn’t try to stop him.

Which is quite merciful, because Dean doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle being rejected.

They kiss for a while, but Castiel makes no move to get naked. “We should go to sleep.” Castiel whispers when they part for breath. “I’m really tired.”

Dean nods and rolls off the bed, hurrying towards the bathroom to hid his tears. A broken sob leaves him once his alone and he locks himself in the bathroom for a long while, trying to calm down.

When he comes out, Castiel is fast asleep.

 

“Do you remember-” Dean interrupts himself and looks up from the pancakes he’s making for breakfast. It’s a Saturday morning and they have no plans for the day, so they’re just going to laze around the house. It’s the perfect moment to bring up his concerns, but he’s not sure how to voice them.

“What?” Castiel asks, looking up from the morning paper. He’s sitting at the counter, wearing nothing but his boxers and Dean feels a pang of sadness at the memory of a time when such a sight would have made him drag his boyfriend back to bed, breakfast be damned.

Now he’s not sure if he’s allowed to do such things.

“Do you remember when you just started working and I got you to miss your flight to Chicago?”

Castiel chuckles at the memory. Dean smiles too; they’ve got thousand of stories of missed appointments because they couldn’t get their hands off each other. That one, though, is particularly memorable because it costed Castiel his first job.

And he hadn’t minded. He had said than every second with Dean was worth everything.

“Dean, are you okay?”

Dean closes his eyes to keep the tears at bay. God, he loves him so much, how did this come to pass? “I- I just- Have you noticed we’re not- we’re not like that anymore?”

Castiel frowns and tilts his head to the side, in that gesture that Dean always found so adorable. “Well, we’ve gotten older.” Castiel replies, but stands up and comes to stand behind Dean, locking his arms around his waist. “But I love you just as much.”

Dean smiles, his heart is soaring at the words.

It’s exactly what he needed to hear.

* * *

 

But as it turns out, things are far from being solved. Routine has taken over their lives and while they’re not… unhappy, things aren’t what they used to be. He’s certain something needs to be done, but he’s not sure what.

He goes to Sam for advice. And Sam offers it without even teasing him, knowing his brother is hurting and not wanting to make things worse. In the future, he’ll tease him about endlessly, but for now, he lets him be.

Dean tries everything. He tries talking to Cas when he comes back home from work and tells him about his day, sharing amusing anecdotes from customers. He makes Castiel’s favorite dishes for dinner and he’s quite loving when they go to bed, but for the most part, Castiel is usually tired and sometimes he’s too cranky, so he snaps at Dean for random things.

Dean tries and tries. But apparently, it’s not enough.

* * *

 

He guesses he should have known better. Castiel was always too good for him and it was obvious he would get tired of him sooner or later. That’s the exact reason Dean didn’t make a move all those years ago.

But Sam had talked him into giving it a chance and now see where it had lead him.

Dean takes a long sip from the bottle of whisky and considers going out. It’s not like he’ll be missed here. For the third night in a row, Castiel hasn’t come home to sleep. He comes in in the mornings, takes a shower and leaves once again, not even waking Dean. He only knows Castiel has been in by the dirty clothes left at the laundry room.

He knew things weren’t going well, but he hadn’t thought-

God, he’s been such a fool.

He glances at the wall clock and sighs. It’s way past midnight, so it’s obvious Castiel is not coming back tonight. It’s Friday, so the excuse of late night working doesn’t really apply, does it? With a sigh, Dean stands up and heads towards the bedroom for another lonely night.

Just then, the door opens and Dean freezes. Castiel comes in, his hair and clothes a mess and smelling like cigarette. Dean’s heart break, but soon anger overpowers sadness and he’s standing in front of Castiel, looking murderous.

“Where the hell have you been?”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “Working. I’m tired Dean, so I really-”

“If you have gotten tired of me, at least have the decency of letting me know!” Dean exclaims, pouring all his anger and hurt in his words. “If you don’t want me around anymore, just tell me so I can move on with my life!”

Castiel, who had already been heading towards the bathroom, stops mid step. “What?” He questions, turning around and looking confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Is there someone else? You can tell me, Cas. It’ll be less painful that-”

“There’s no one else! How can you even think that?” He’s standing now in front of Dean, looking both frustrated and worried. “I’ve been working my ass off this last weeks because-”

“Don’t even- don’t you dare-” he’s not even sure what he wants to say, he only knows he’s upset and wants to take out his anger on someone.

They argue for a long while, until their throats are dry and both had said many many mean things. They bring up old arguments and come up with new ones, putting blames on each other’s shoulders. When they’re too tired and hurt to keep on arguing, Castiel storms out of the apartment.

Dean sinks on his knees and cries.

* * *

 

Sam is the one who comes looking for him. After their argument, Dean left the flat, unable to stay another minute under the roof that he shared with the man he once thought was the love of his life. Now it’s obvious he wasn’t.

Or maybe he is. The problem is Dean isn’t his.

He’s sitting at a bench in the park. It’s way too late for him to be out, but he’s not particularly worried about his safety. Sam finds him and drags him back to the apartment and explains Castiel is staying with him and Gabriel for a while, just till things calm down a bit.

Dean knows better, though. Castiel isn’t coming back.

It’s all over.

* * *

 

A week later, when Dean is reheating some chinese food for dinner, there’s a knock on the door. He sighs and goes to open the door, half expecting his brother, ready to give him some pep-talk.

But Sam isn’t the one at the door. It’s Castiel.

“Can we talk?” he asks, looking nervous and Dean lets him in, not quite registering it, too surprised by his boyfriend’s (or is ex-boyfriend?) presence.

“Why did you knock? You’ve got keys.” Dean says, watching the other warily while they make their way to the living room.

“I- It seemed rude. After all, I left.”

Dean closes his eyes and tries to focus on what’s happening right now, instead of on the pain of Castiel leaving. Everything’s still feels a little too raw.

“I’m sorry Dean. Sam explained you’ve been feeling a little… dejected.”

Dean sighs; he should have known Sam wouldn’t keep his mouth shut. “Why didn’t you say something?” Castiel asks, placing a hand tentatively over his knee. “I- I didn’t know what you were feeling. I thought-”

“I kept thinking I was being silly” Dean confesses softly, “I keep thinking you were going to say I was being stupid.”

Castiel sighs. “Dean, I would never dismiss your worries. I- I know I’ve been busy lately and I’m constantly tired but… my feelings for you have never changed.”

“You’re not- we’ve not-”

“Things are different now, I know. And I apologise if those changes made you think my feelings have changed too, but I assure you, they haven’t. I’ll always love you.”

Dean nods, unsure of what else he can say. A part of him always knew that Castiel loved him, had he been silly letting his own self doubt poison his mind, making him doubt Cas? Maybe-

“Don’t” Castiel’s tone is firm and Dean snaps his attention back to him. “I know that look Dean. Stop blaming yourself; I should have seen-”

“It’s not your fault either” Dean protests. “We both- we made mistakes. But they’re not unsolvable, are they?”

Castiel’s smile is bright and heart warming, so Dean returns it with equal enthusiasm. “No, they aren’t” he slides closer to Dean on the sofa, before carefully placing his arms around him. “I’m sorry. I love you.”

Dean nods. “So do I. We’ll work this out.”

And they will, because, in the end, they love each other and that’s what really matters.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is ridiculously fluffy. Trust me, I know. But regardless of everything else, I’m a believer of happy endings. Even if they’re kinda boring in real life.  
> Anyway, this put me in the mood for some actual fluff, so I might end up writing something a little happier next time. Not so sure, because I really can’t stray away from my usual tropes… not for lack of trying, trust me, but I just LOVE writing angst.  
> So, suggestions for any other one-shots? I really should get down to write “Mine” (that’s fluffy! And angsty in the middle. So very angsty.) but right now I lack inspiration for that. So, any other songs you recommend?  
> Thanks for reading! And remember, you can also find me at ylc1.tumblr.com


End file.
